Hichigo and a tennis ball
by moredemonthanangel
Summary: What happens when hichigo finds a tennis ball? and why does he name it Carl? this is crack warning.


Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing!

It was just another ordinary day in Ichigo's inner world. Ichigo himself was in school trying desperately to pay attention to the lesson. (But we'll get back to him)

Zangetsu was on his pole trying to either a) determine the meaning of life, b) wondering how food tastes (seriously you think they would ever want to eat or something), c) wondering what would happen if something (or someone) were to "fall" off of the side of the building, or d) why people thought he was emo. It doesn't matter anyway because his train of thought was about to end in

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"Hey ZANZAN!" shouted a very very _very _annoying hollow close to his ear.

"Why in the name of all that is holy would you shout in my ear?" Zangetsu questioned ignoring the nickname for now.

"Hey I've been trying to call you for 10 minutes but you were too far into your mental emo corner to notice me." accused Hichigo.

_Sigh _"and just what makes you do sure that I'm emo?" asked a now very annoyed Zapakto.

"Well you sit on that pole all day, you stare of the side of the building for long periods of time, and you allways seem annoyed whenever I talk to you." said Hichigo counting off the reasons with his fingers.

"I wonder why? I still don't see why this makes me emo."

"Aww who cares anyway. It's just a title and anyway I'm sooooo bored why don't we _do _something." whined Hichigo.

"Like what he asked regrettably." zangetsu asked rolling his eyes.

"I don't know but ichigo won't talk to me and every time I try to threaten or annoy him he just thinks about what the teacher is saying. I think I fell asleep three times already, and teachers wonder why other kids are failing." exclaimed Hichigo. "I finally gave up when king told me I should see what you are doing."

'ichigo I swear on my life as a Zapakto I will get you for this. Maybe the idiot will go away if I ignore him.'

(poor zangetsu that idea never works because nobody is ever that patient. Observe.)

"Hey zangetsu are you even listening to me?" Hichigo asked appearing near the side of his face. Getting no reaction he tried poking the left side of zingers' face.

:poke:

:poke poke:

:: Zangetsu, finally fed up with said hollow, slaped Hichigo across the face enough to make him fall against the side of the building.

He looked up holding his face and glaring at the Zapakto. It was soon replaced with an insane grin.

"Aww watsa matter Zanzan. Am I _bothering you? Huh? Am I?" Hichigo asked getting so close zangetsu could see the crazy in his eyes._

"_GODDAMN YOU you insufferable idiot! Why must you annoy me every goddamn second of every goddamn day!"_

"_because I'm boooooorred, and you should entertain me."_

"_No I don't even like you."_

"_. . . You know there's no need to be so hurtful."_

"_GO AWAY! OR ELSE I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER GET CHOCOLATE AGAIN!" Zangetsu exploded._

_Hichigo, mostly out of fear of his precious chocolate being taken away, visably paled and was screaming on the inside. But he had an image to maintain so he just ran away cackling madly._

_After a while of walking Hichigo was still bored and absent mindly looked at the clouds while he strolled. They never did change so there wasn't even the fun of finding different shapes in them. Sigh. There really was nothing to do in this stupid inner world that was always blue. Why was that anyway? Was the king so depressed that his whole inner world had to be the color of depression? Sigh. Hichigo was so bored that he didn't even notice he was falling till he landed flat of his face on the building._

"_damn it what could I have tripped on?" Hichigo asked while searching for the unknown item. _

_Then he saw it. It was green so it easily stood out against the blue building. It was small, about the size of the hollows fist, and round. Hichigo picked it up and was surprised to find a layer of fuzz around the object. It fit perfectly in his hand and when hichigo dropped it it came right back up and into hichigo's hand._

"_What the hell is this thing?" _

_Hichigo decided to call it Carl. He tossed Carl to himself until he dropped it and had to start over. Then he bounced Carl so high that it was in the air for a full 5 minutes before it came back to Hichigo like a rocket. Landing right between the eyes. This of course did not go over well with said hollow._

"_DAMN YOU CARL! HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY YOUR MASTER! YOU STUPID IDIOTIC THING!" Hichigo then threw Carl not as hard as he could but enough to make Carl disappear over the horizon._

'_Che served the idiot right.' thought Hichigo. Not a moment later something came and hit Hichigo right in the back of the head. Making him fall to the ground a second time. _

_Hichigo immediately stood up and whipped out Zangetsu ready to tear the enemy who dared to hit him limb from limb. _

_Looking down there stood Carl. Waiting like an innocent puppy. Hichigo picked up the thing, confused. Well, Hichigo didn't take confusion well and proceeded to throw Carl a little harder this time. Again he was hit from behind by an unknown force and again he turned around to see Carl waiting there. Finally, after going through this process about 5 times, the wheels in hichigo's head started turning and he figured that King's mind didn't go on forever and probably was just a plane. Or something like that anyway he now knew that if something was thrown on one side then it would appear on the other. Smiling know that he knew how this inner world worked the hollow threw Carl with as much force as he could mannage then quickly stepped out of the way._

_It worked. Carl was moving so fast that the only way you could see it was the green line that now went past hichigo. It was rather funny. And Hichigo was so bored that something like this now amused the crap out of him._

_Zangestu, however, didn't find it so funny. He had felt bad for yelling at Hichigo before and wanted to apologize to him. He also wanted to find him because hichigo had been gone for 30 minutes, and when hichigo is alone he usually gets into trouble. The last time he was left alone for 40 minutes ichigo was in a coma for a week. But that's another story. Needless to say zangetsu was not amused when he saw a hollow laughing his ass off because of a little green line that traveled throughout ichigo's mind._

"_What the hell have you been up to?" Asked Zangetsu._

_Hichigo stopped laughing and looked up at zangetsu, glad to see that he had finally gotten off of his emo stick. "Hey there Zangetsu! Meet Carl, isn't he awesome?"_

_Zangetsu could only stare at the scene before him._

_Then suddenly Hichigo got an idea from staring at Carl. What would happen if there was an object placed in Carl's path? Hichigo decided to test his theory and, ignoring zingetsu's protests, took out his sword and stuck it in front of carl. This was a bad idea._

_After hitting Hichigo's sword Carl went wild. Picture if you will a tennis ball (because we all know now that this is a tennis ball right?) bouncing all over the place without stopping. (if you need a better picture then imagine that scene of family guy where brian and stewie are stuck in the bank vault and the bullet is flying everywhere. Replace the bullet with a tennis ball.) Hichigo and Zangetsu started running in every direction. There was no cover! Nowhere to hide from Carl's wrath!_

"_AAAAH AHHHH AHHHH CARL WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? OBEY YOUR MASTER! OBEY YOUR MASTER!"_

"_SHUT UP YOU IDIOT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! CAN'T I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES?"_

"_WELL EXCUSE ME! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE ALONE TO SULK IN YOUR EMO CORNER AND THAT'S WHY YOU PUSHED ME AWAY! IF IT'S ANYONES FAULT IT'S YOURS FOR NOT WATCHING ME!"_

"_NO MORE TALKING JUST RUN AND TRY NOT TO GET KILLED!"_

_This went on for another 15 minutes before ichigo decided to visit his inner world._

_It seems all the commotion must have given ichigo a headache. He appeared with a very pissed-off expression on his face._

"_WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? DO YOU KNOW THE HEADACHE YOU TWO ARE GIVING ME? I AM NOW LAYING UNCONCIUS IN THE NURSES OFFICE THANKS TO YOU TWO BLOCKHEADS! NOW WHO'S FAULT IS THIS?"_

_Hichigo and Zangetsu stopped running for a minute to look at each other. Then they pointed to Carl who was still bouncing uncontrollably._

"_sigh why me?" Ichigo pleaded. Then he stuck out his hand caught Carl, stopping his path of destruction._

_Zangetsu was still pissed from having to dodge that damn thing and from ichigo dumping the hollow on him. But what really pushed him over the edge is what ichigo said next._

"_so this is where my lucky tennis ball went. I've been looking for this everywhere." Ichigo said half to himself._

_Zangetsu then pushed ichigo off the side of the building he was standing near and watched as Ichigo screamed all the way down. Then appeared from the sky only to fall down to the bottomless pit again. And again. And again. Screaming all the way._

'_well,' thought zangetsu 'that's one down.'_

_Hope you all enjoyed!_

_=^..^=_


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